It's in the mail...

Last Wednesday, I finally decided to send a letter to my birthmother.

I made a card, because I thought that was more beautiful and I also wrote it myself.  (I had help with the translation, though.)  The card looks crooked, but I assure you that was the fault of the camera work, not my actual card.)   :)         Inside the card I wrote my birth name, birthdate, and place of birth.  It then says that I was adopted to Americans.  It says that I am looking for my birthmother and gives her last name.  I then say that I am sending this same letter to many women, all with the same last name, in hopes of finding the one who is my true birthmother.  HOWEVER, I know that it was her because I had her name and had done all the other footwork (please see my previous blog entries, if you don't know what I am talking about.)  Then I write that I will be in Seoul until the the third week of December, so she should contact me soon, if she wants to contact me at all.

I dropped it in the mail, also with some help, the next day.

Seeing that the city is only 60 miles from Seoul, I figure the letter should have arrived Saturday or today, Monday.  If that's the case, then from today onward... I guess I just wait.

So here I am, waiting.

But she better hurry up, because I might be leaving soon... I already quit my job.

Making Kimchi

Last Saturday, the art teacher invited me to her house to make kimchi with her, her sister, her mother, and her nieces.

I had so much fun, and now I officially feel like a Korean. : )

Here are some pictures:

My Hood

I was just cruising my favorite reference site, Wikipedia, and I saw an article about the neighborhood where I live.  The article states that my area is  "known for easy and cheap sexual entertainment."

Here's the link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sillim-dong

Check it out... I thought it was really funny.

Insadong

In my Korean textbook, there are sometimes mini-articles about Korean culture.  One of the articles talked about Insadong and mentioned that is had many traditional crafts, especially crafts made of paper.  My teacher asked me if I had ever been, and since I hadn't, we agreed to go together.  We are about the smae age, and have many similar interests, so I was really looking forward to going with her.

After class today, we went to Insadong.  But before we could see any crafts, we HAD to eat.  We went to eat Kalguksu.  It was SO delicious.  Kalguksu is a noodle dish, with steaming hot broth and clams.  Here is a picture of the dish as well as a picture of my teacher, serving it. 

It was a perfect dish for the freezing cold, -1 C, temperature that it was that day.  They also had the most delicious kimchi that I have eaten here.  I like kimchi, but I usually eat about 3-4 pieces with each meal.  However, here, I think I ate a whole plate of kimchi.  It was so garlicky and delicious.  If you go to Insadong, you have to eat here.

After lunch, we started shopping and walking around Insadong.  They have many traditional arts and crafts, as well as some very nice museums and upscale shops.  Insadong is also well-known for its shops full of traditional paper, hanji, which is similar to mulberry paper.  While we were walking, I also saw this Starbucks.  There are SO many Starbucks in Korea, so that's not the big deal.  The big deal is that this is the ONLY Starbucks in Korea that says "Suh-ta-beok-suh-Keo-pi."    If you know even a little Korean, you know that there is no "f" sound, so Koreans replace the "f" sound with a hard "p," so that actually reads, if you say it really fast, "Starbucks coffee." (Which I thought was hilarious.)  Of course, I would not drink coffee there, though, because Insadong is also well-known for its Tea Shops.

We went to this great Tea shop, that I think was called "Tea Time."  It was a little off the main street and was on the 2nd floor.  I had cinnamon tea, and my teacher had this tea made out of a small melon-sized citrus fruit.  (I have a friend whose father makes a jam out of that fruit, and it is univerally agreed that it is too sour to eat plain, but it makes really good marmelade and tea.)  Those round colored things, are like crackers.  The look heavy, but they are light and fluffy.  In fact, if you break them little pieces flurry around, like snow.  They are good, but they taste a little like air.

 

I had such a nice day that I can't wait to go back!

An article worth reading

I am a member of the Korean American Adoptee Network, which is amazing.  Every month, they send out an electronic newsletter of issues regarding adoptees.  In this month's newsletter, there was this link to an article in the New York Times: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/09/us/09adopt.html?pagewanted=1&_r=2
I liked it because it helped me to come to the resolution that many Korean adoptees are going through the same sort of things that I went through growing up. 

If you are an adoptee, and you are reading my blog, I want to tell you, that Korea is not like it used to be.  In 2000, when I came, people were mean to me either because I was an adoptee or because maybe I look like I am not full Korean.  However, this time, EVERYONE has been really nice to me.  There was one jerk at the cellphone store who was rude, but I have a hundred people who are very kind.  So, please don't let what the people in the article said dissuade you from coming to Korea.

I like Korea, not as much as California, but I like it all the same.  If you have the chance, you should come too.

Merry Pepero Day! (and you thought Valentine's Day was commercialized)

     Right after I arrived at work today, one of the girls who seems to like me the most, ran up to my desk and gave me a box of Pocky, which if you don't know, is a box of long, skinny crakers dipped in chocolate or other things, but usually chocolate.  That student is actually always giving me cute things, so while I was surprised, I didn't think it was anything out of the ordinary.

Then, two more students came in and gave me boxes of Pocky. One of them had this note attached to it:

In case you can't read it.  It says: Dear Ms. ____.  from. Hannah (in the corner)  Today is Pepero (in Hangul) Day.  Pepero (in Hangul) Day is a give and take long chocolate snack.  It means "we are best friend!" or "thanks to (some person who wants give you)".  So I give you this snack.  (picture of a little girl face with HaHa written underneath).  I always thanks for your teaching.  It taste like coffee.  I want you like it.  Bye Teacher ^^ (^^  is the Korean equivalent of a smiley emoticon).

Is this the cutest thing or what?  She was with another friend who gave me one of the red boxes and it said, "Merry Pepero (in Hangul) day"  It was great.  On the front of her box, the print says, "11story #1. Hugs!Hugs! All in my arms, in my soul I want to hold you baby"  Classic.

That is my collection of gifts for Pepero day. 

I felt so lucky that the students would remember to include me on this day.  As I was arranging that picture, I noticed that one of the boxes even said "Pepero."  It's the box on the top.  Here's a better look:

So, as I was looking at this box, I realized that in Korea, Pocky is not Pocky, it's Pepero.  This whole day was fabricated by the Pepero company,aka Lotte.

Later that evening, in the subway, I saw tons of Pepero displays.  I saw a few people with these Pepero box towers wrapped in cellophane.  So as much as we complain in the states about Valentine's Day, at least Hallmark attempted to ground their "Holiday" in some kind of historical event.  However, Pepero (owned by Lotte) chose a random day, 11/11 and called it Pepero Day because the "double elevens look like Pepero in the box."

AND, just like in the states, on Valentine's Day, I love it and am so happy to have received boxes of Pepero.

I found a different house

About a month ago, one of my language exchange buddies told me that he was willing to take me to Songtan to find the family house of my birth mother.

This is the same friend who Korean Googled the address and showed it in a field with a school and told me that it probably wasn't there anymore.  Well, he turned out to be wrong and right, in that order.  He was wrong about the address on the internet; it seems that because the town was redistricted, there is no address that matches THAT address.  We asked a few people on the who lived around where the address should have been, but they said we were in the wrong area.  Then we went to a real estate agent and he said that the area had been redistricted twice and that the only way we would be able to figure it out would be to go the police.  So, my friend was right about the fact that the house probably did not exist anymore.

I was ready to give up, but my friend told me that we should go to the police.  The real esate man told us where the nearest police station was located.  We drove there, but it was closed; I was ready to go back to Seoul and forget about the whole thing.  There was a sign saying the office was closed and it gave a number to call.  My friend called and the police gave us directions to another station. 

At the second station, it was like deja vu from ten years ago, except this station was cleaner and there was a young cute girl officer, instead of only older men.  Both times though, the police were all very kind.  As I was looking over my paperwork, the same paperwork that I brought to Korea on every trip, I noticed some writing in black pen.  I could never read Korean, but since my friend was there, I asked him what the message said.  My friend told me that the police officer  from ten years ago wrote me a message saying that he was sorry that he could not find the exact address I had been looking for (the house where I was born tghat had been demolished in lieu of a road) and that he wished me a nice life and that God would bless me. 

Today, there were three poice officers.  A younger woman, who my friend had spoken with on the phone, a middle-aged man, and an older man.  The older man took my paperwork and said that he knew every area in that city both before and after the redictricting.  They looked at the paperwork, and typed in some stuff on the computer, and then once again, I was in the same position.  I was in a police station in Korea with a police officer asking me if I wanted him to call my birth mother.

This time, just like the last, I said no.  This time though, I had a better translator who had thought out the situation better than I could have.  Before we got to the station, he asked me one last time if I wanted to contact her today and I told him, "No way."  He said that he understood, but that either way, we would get my birthmother's information so hat I could contact her if I wanted to.  And he was true to his word.

I know have, in my possession, my birthmother's current home address, her equivalent to a social security number, her husband's name, and his equivalent to a social security number.  The police told me that there was no number listed in the database at that time.  I was so grateful to the kind police officers and my language exchange buddy.

So, we went to the house.  I got a good look; the pictures are below.  There was someone home.  A light in a downstairs window... but nobody came out and I didn't go in.  We probably stayed about 15 minutes, and I kept thinking that maybe she would sense my presence and run out crying out something about her long lost baby girl... but I guess this wasn't a movie and nothing dramatic happened.

Her sense of my presence is about as bad as my sense of hers, because I thought she was gone.  I was almost certain that she was living here in Seoul.  I even wanted to give up, but my buddy is way more persistent; I guess he had no emotional investment.

So now, I don't know what to do.  I had always thought I had a lot of information, but now I have more.  I taught my buddy the word, stakeout... maybe that's what I should do.  Stake out the place.  My friend told me that the special sign we saw on the gate indicated that there was a neighborhood president living at the house.  If my stepbirthfather is the neighborhood president, maybe my birthmother would rather avoid the scandal of her very gone adult daughter's return after a 30-something year absence.  Or maybe, she has missed me all her life. 

Either way, here are the pics of the house:

This is the front of the house.  It looks relatively big and is on land that has a five-car carport on the side.  That green and white oval sign is the one that says that a neighborhood president lives there.

This is a picture of the backyard.

Since my dreams have come true, can I go home now?

I know it's silly, but whenever I would go to a big city, San Francisco, New York, Los Angeles, Mexico City, Paris, I would always dream of how my life would be if I lived in a big city.  I would look at the skyline and dream of my important life and busy schedule.  How it would be SO great to take public transportation, I would go EVERYWHERE on the subway... I wouldn't even need a car.

Well, now I know.   Here is a picture of the view from my school.  As you can see, I finally live in a big city.

I use the metro and busses to get around; I have no car.

I also used to wonder what it would be like to live in the cold weather.

Today it was -1 degrees celsius.  For those of you who do not know celsius, 0 degrees is FREEZING.  I was so cold.  All day long, even though i was wearing 3 layers, when I would leave my classroom or the teachers' office, the cold from the hallways would slap me in the face and the chest and especially, my legs, which only had a pair of jeans.

I get it now.  I have lived in the cold.  I have lived in the big city.  Now I know.

I want to go home.

Dinner and Dessert weren't enough... but what about Halloween Treats?

I was having a little bit of an emotional day at work today.  I thought I was keeping it together, until this very nice part-time teacher talked to me, and the tears started weling up in my eyes.  We had made plans to have coffee once a few weeks ago, but it didn't work out, so she came over to re-invite me for next week some time.  I agreed and told her to call me.

I was out of minutes on my cellphone so I didn't have it on.  When I did turn it on at around 6 pm, I saw a message from her inviting me to dinner or coffee.  I texted her back telling her I had plans and that we could meet up next week because I had just finished eating dinner with the Head Teacher.  She texted me back that it was okay, but that she had a Halloween present for me, but that she could just give it to me on Monday.

I was so surprised that I called her back and told her I would have coffee with her.  This is the present she gave me:

She told me that she got me the cookies to make me think of the U.S.  It's funny because I have actually never eaten that particular variety of that cookie, but tonight I ate it with gratitude.  (It is really good.)  She also told me that I was supposed to take a knife and slice open one side of the "broom" and all the candies would come falling out.

Sure enough, after I sliced through it, this is what I found:             Lots of delicious candy!  Just like Halloween.  Can you say Trick or Treat?

Cheonggyecheon (청계천) (I stole that off of Wikipedia)

So, even though you are supposed to go to the River Restoration in the summer, when it's really hot so you can refresh yourself, I happened to be walking by it a few Saturdays ago with some people from my Korean class.

As far as Wikipedia is concerned it is the only modern stream rivitalization.  Here is the link in case you want to find out more.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cheonggyecheon

As I walked down about half of the length, I could imagine that it would be nice in the summer.  THey also have some really nice murals (but I didn't take any pictures of those) and they pipe in sound of pounding  horse hooves (think: Monty Python and the Holy Grail coconuts).

I must be a good photographer because these are practically the smae pictures that are on Wikipedia.

However, they don't have this one:

These are the stones you can run across, like a screaming child, to cross the river.  Just be careful not to get pushed over by the aforementioned child.  Totally fun.  :)

Update: Birth Family Search -- Walking the streets of Songtan

I spent allof last weekend in Songtan, where my birth family lives/lived. 

I asked any random Korean person who spoke English and many, many elderly Korean people if they knew the Kwak family.  Let me tell you, that my Korean is not that good, but I think I managed to say that 1 phrase fairly correctly, but I could be wrong.  In either case, no one had heard of the Kwaks.

This means to me that my family either does not live there anymore, or is not a prominent family, or both.  I'm sure it is silly, but I was hoping my birth family wouldbe very rich and I could be a princess.  Since that doesn't seem to be the case, I think I am giving up.  (Although, I still dream of being royalty one day.)   :)

I still plan to go this weekend, if my friend will still take me in his car, but otherwise, that's it.

It would be interesting to find my birth family, but I am not sure it is worth the trouble.

Sure, I could go to the police station, and just ASK where they are, like I did 10 years ago, but I am not sure that I want to find them that much.

I feel like if it is meant to be, then it will happen.  If it is not, then I guess it won't happen.  I know that you have to work for things you want, and I do, but I am not sure that I want that, AND I am leaning towards no.

I would love to hear your comments below.

Seoul Anglican Cathedral

This is an article that I wrote for my church newsletter back home.

Greetings Church Family!

Korea is nice, but there are some things about the States that I just can’t forget. One of them, of course, is the church. I’ve been here over a month now but have only had the opportunity to attend church three times. I always take the hour-long subway ride to the Anglican Cathedral Church of Sts. Mary and Nicholas.

The first week, I attended service in Korean. I have been going to different Episcopal churches for at least 20 years, and I have seen my share of church bulletins, so I felt pretty certain that I would understand the verse numbers of the readings and the page numbers from the hymnal, even if the whole bulletin was in Korean… but I stand corrected. As you can see, you can’t read it, unless you know Korean. In fact, I’m not sure if this is the service or the announcements. But I let it go and just enjoyed the service. One thing I noticed, was that even here in Korea, where sermons at other churches usually last longer than an hour, the sermon here was 15 minutes. I have never read it in the Book of Common Prayer, but I think there is some kind of unwritten rule. And when it was time for Communion, the priest sang the service (beautifully, I might add)/; it was as if he had been singing in English. The melody was the same, the pitch was the same, I knew when to kneel; I finally felt a little at home. I think THAT is the power of our religion.

As I was leaving that day, I heard singing: “Holy, Holy, Holy, Lord God of power and might... .” It was coming from an open window. I ran around that whole little chapel looking for the hidden door; talk about feeling at home. That’s OUR song. Yeah, I know they use it at other churches, but you understand the feeling. I went in, but I was already late for an appointment, so I left after asking the service time. I decided that I would definitely attend the English service the next weekend. And I did.

English service is held in the St. John the Baptist Crypt Chapel, where the Rt. Rev. Mark Trollope is interred. This brass monument of The Rev. holding the cathedral marks his remains. There are about 50 attendees every week and it is nice. The service feels very familiar, but no one kneels and they don’t sing all the “good” hymns, just about 1 good hymn a week. They do have an organ though, but they only have a four-member choir.

I hope to be the fifth member soon.

At the Korean service, when it is time to give the peace, everyone just bows at each other, no hand shaking whatsoever. On the first day that I went to the English service, I didn’t know what to do. The first person I made eye contact with was the Korean guy sitting next to me. I didn’t know whether to bow or shake his hand. I bowed. Then I shook other people’s hands. Now that I know, I will definitely shake his hand if I ever see him again.


While I definitely think my home church is at Messiah, I think the Seoul Anglican Cathedral is like me. It’s a mix of west (the church architecture) and east (the architecture of the archbishop's residence).

Above: this is the Seoul Diocesan Bishop’s Residence, Anglican Church of Korea.

Hiking Season in Korea

Last Thursday, I went hiking with some of the teachers at my school.

It was the day of the School Festival, which is a big deal because allthe students show off their arts and crafts that they have made in their afterschool clubs.  By 11:00 am, though, all the teachers and students are free to leave.  At 2:00, it was time for the hike.  I thought we were going to carpool somewhere to go hiking, but really, all we do is walk out behind our school. 

About 20 teachers decided to hike up Mt. Gwanaksan, which is directly behind my school.  At first, we walked some steep trails, but it was okay.  However, when we had to start climbing up rocks and I had to use my hands, I thought the whole hike thing had gone too far.  I am a walker.  (If that.)  However, all the teachers seemed to love it.  It must be a Korea thing.  I did have some amazing views though, which are below.  All the people in the pictures are teachers from my school.

Can my loyalty bought with dinner and cake?

Tonight, one of the English teachers invited me and the rest of the English teachers to have dinner at her house.  I think becuase I was "sick" last week, she didn't make all the side dishes this weekend, so she said we would go to a restaurant.

The restaurant was delicious.  We had Chicken Soup, flavored with Ginseng, Garlic, and something else.   They actually give you a whole cornish game hen in your hot stone bowl.  The soup was really thick and had rice at the bottom.  I know I should have taken a picture, but I was too busy eating.  (I hated my school lunch, for the first time, so I barely ate.  At dinner though, I was starved).  Here is a picture I took off of the Internet, which looks just like mine did.

Then we went to the hosting English teacher's apartment (which is called "apart" in Korean).   We had fruit and cake.  They told me that they bought the most expensive cake at Paris Baguette.  It was so delicious, it was worth EVERY bite.  Here's a pic of our dessert spread:

(This teacher had Royal Albert China Tea cups which were beautiful.)  The cake was so good, we ate more than half.  They even made me blow out those candles.  It was really nice, and I felt so honored that they would do this for me.

The host teacher dropped me off after dinner.  We were talking about the other "Native English Teachers" that she had known(5) and if any had ever left early.  She said most had, so I was like, oh, I'm not the only one.  But then, just as I was about to get out of the car she said, "You make us so happy."  I almost cried right there, but, instead, I got out of the car and said goodnight.

I had planned to tell my co-teacher that I was going to quit after tonight's dinner.  Now, though, after the dinner, the cake, and the really nice comment, I don't think I can do it.

So maybe my loyalty CAN be bought for dinner and cake (and nice comments).  It bought them a few weeks, at least.

What's In a Name?

When I was here in Korea 10 years ago, people were not always nice to me.  I am not sure if it is because I was adopted or if it was becasue I don't look full Korean, or maybe it was because I didn't speak Korean.  Either way, people were rude.  (People have been really nice on this trip though.)

Becuase of that previous experience, I was a little nervous to approach this guy who was helping out at the English Teacher Orientation in August after I found out we share the same last name.

On the last night, he was coming back at the same time I was and I decided to take my chance to tell him that we have the same last name, Kwak.  In a country where everyone shares only about 250 Korean last names, I thought it would be difficult to figure out any familyline by last name.  However, since the three most common (Kim, Lee, and Park) account for nearly half of the population, I only have 50% to go.  That guy from Teacher Training told me the name Kwak is actually rare, only making up less than 1% of the population.  (Check this link out for more info http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Korean_family_names)

A few days ago, I found the list of email addresses that was handed out at the training and I decided to ask him about Kwak and he replied with this message:

There are 2 root of Kwak family, which are Hyeon poong Kwak and Cheong ju Kwak. They are seperated by the area where their primary viliage was located long time ago.

And the roots are classified with different unit 'gong pa'.

i.e My root is Hyeon poong and XXX gong pa, I'm not sure what my gongpa is, and there must be many gongpa in the category of Hyeonpoong Kwak.

Then, tonight, as I was giving my family address to my Language Exchange Buddy, I saw it.  On my own personal Family Register, it says that I am a "Hyonpung" Kwak, just like that guy from the teacher training!

Maybe I am getting closer and closer...


Just as an aside:
 
My first name is Yong and while I was looking up Korean last names, I found this:
 
 


Yong
The name Yong is a baby girl name. The name Yong comes from the Korean origin. The meaning of the name Yong is: Courage.

Similar Names:

Hong ( Chinese )
Rong ( Chinese )
Rong ( Chinese )
Yong ( Korean )
Yong ( Korean )

POSTED COMMENT: uhm im korean so yong means dragon too you know?
 
Awesome: I am a courageous dragon!

The area where my birth family lived when I was born

My language exchange buddy typed in the address where my birth family lived 30 years ago.

Click this link to check it out:

http://map.naver.com/?lat=37.0650331&lng=127.0779830&level=1&mapMode=1

He said that the area looks new because it was probably rice paddies in the past.  There are new schools and the houses look like they are new and may be replacements for older ones that have been torn down.

The other thing that I found out, was that even though I thought I had "the address," what I really had was the address of a small neighborhood, which is what you see in that picture.

I guess I AM really looking.

The Taste of Success: Curry Katsu

So I am doing a language exchange with this guy over the Internet.  He is really nice and taught me how to say my address and how to order something when I call on the phone.

For those of you who have never learned a foreign language, this is far harder than it sounds, because you have to speak REALLY clearly, and listen for ANY question that could arise.  So I was really scared, but my language exchange buddy and I had just practiced it a few times, and even though I had already eaten, I went for it.

At 8:09, I made the phone call, and then got my 6,500 won ready (just like my buddy said), and then waited.  At 8:26, the restaurant called me to let the delivery guy through the security door.

Here is my first meal:

Curry Katsu

There is the green delivery menu that was left on my door last week.  It is where this all began.

There is kimchi, curry sauce, and cream soup in the small dishes at the top.  They give you real dishes and real silverware.  The delivery guy told me to leave the dishes outside when I was done.  I guess he will come back and pick them up. 

The cream soup was the best.  The curry katsu was pretty good too.  But nothing was more delicious than the taste of success.

Just when I think things really suck... they get better

Since I have been feeling under the weather, I have not gone to work for 3 days.  In fact, I haven't even left my apartment.  It was good that before I became a hermit, I "stocked up," as much as a single girl with no stove can, on food.  I had plenty, until today.  So on the third day, I went to eat and buy some more food. 


When I returned there was this note on my door:

(I didn't answer because I was at the store buying food.)

I ran down to the manager's office, but she wasn't there.  Her office was open and  I saw my bag on her desk with my name on it, so I left her a note telling her that I took it.

I opened the bag up and took everything out and got ready to eat, even though I had never had it before.

My pictures never do anything justice, because you can't smell how delicious it is, and of course, you can't taste how good it is.

The main dish is the biggest one.  It is actually huge, in fact, I could only eat half and I was really forcing myself.  The main part is a rice porridge, kinda like oatmeal, only made of rice.  It is topped with dried seaweed, green onions and shitake mushrooms.  In the porridge, though, is shellfish like mussels and clams.  It was very delicious, but they give you more stuff.  That little soup on the right hand side is cold, it tastes like radish and garlic.  The small dishes, at the top are radish kimchi, marinated beef (which tasted like beef jerky), and chili paste.  I think because the dish is on the hearty, more bland side, each of these dishes really "kick it up a notch."  However, I happened to like the porridge by itself too.

Just when I think I REALLY hate my job, they do something nice like this and I have to go back.  :)

I've been approved to be officially not Korean.

Today my mom received a letter from the Korean Consulate in Los Angeles.

It was written in Hangul, so of course she couldn't read it.

It seemed important so I had her fax it to the school where I worked.

It had my Korean name on it and my birthdate at the top.

I tried to read it, but since my Korean is abysmal, I didn't have a clue as to what it said.

I asked my Co-Teacher and she told me that it said that my application for renunciation of my Korean citizenship was approved. (I wasn't even sure if I had applied, but I think I did on 9/3/09 at the Seoul Immigration Office.)

I was SO sad. I started crying right away. I went to the bathroom to try to just get it out of my system, but I couldn't make it stop. I finally decided that I would just tell my co-teacher that I wasn't feeling good and leave.

I packed up my stuff and then just told her I didn't feel good and was leaving. I don't know if I ever want to go back. The practical side of me tells me that I have to, because it's my job and I have a one year contract, etc. But I feel like never going back. I hate that school anyway. I make all these amazing lessons and the kids are so loud. But I digress.

So, I can't figure out why I am so sad. I am an American. The other day, as I passed by the American Consulate, a tear fell from my eye. I know all the words to the Star Spangled Banner, and can even sing them! I love baseball and apple pie, okay not really... but I am still American.

When I was adopted, my parents gave up my Korean citizenship so I could receive American citizenship. That was over 30 years ago. So why am I so upset about this now?

I am sure it has something to do with the fact that while I was receiving my purple registration card from the Immigration office, I found out that I was still in the system. For so long, I thought I was just forgotten, and then all of a sudden there I was. I was a real Korean. I couldn't believe it. So for all those people who say that I am not Korean, in your face!

But then I got sent to that OTHER office. You know, the one where they say you aren't Korean anymore. Like now it's official. You are officially NOT Korean. I even had to pay money (not very much) for them to tell me that I am officially not Korean.

And I guess today, I have been approved. I've been approved to be officially not Korean.

So if I am American, and if I have a perfectly nice life back home waiting for me, then why am I crying? Why does this topic bring me to tears EVERY time? And not just a tear trickling out of my eyes. Crazy, uncontrollable, sobbing, make you throw up twice, tears.

This was exactly the thing I came here to find out. I want to get rid of this feeling; I am so sick of it.

I AM going to do something about it, I just don't know what.

One adoptee's story of her trip to Korea (not mine)

I found this link in the KAAN (Korean American Adoptee Network) newsletter.

It is a great story, with some great pictures, of a Korean adoptee and her sister and their journey to Seoul.

I thought it was well-written, which is more than I can say about myself.  :)

Enjoy.


http://www.nola.com/family/index.ssf/2009/09/childlike_vulnerability_is_uni.html

A Korean Drama about Adoptees

So I have to tell you that the one huge reason that I haven't posted in a few days is because I am addicted to this Korean drama. 

It's called:


Women of the Sun

Alternative Title: Sisters In Love / Women in the Sun
Genre: Melodrama, Romance
Film Date: May, 2008
Total Episodes: 20
Korea Casts: Han Jae Suk, Jung Gyu Woon , Kim Ji Soo, Lee Ha Na

Description:
Shin Do Young is an announcer who instigates the jealously of all women around her because of her superior looks, great abilities, and great background. But Do Young has a deep, dark secret. She was actually abandoned at an orphanage when she was young but luckily she was adopted by a nice couple. The couple were unable to have their own children but were surprised when their biological daughter was born. Do Young, afraid that her parents would no longer love her anymore abandoned her 5 year old little sister, Ji Young, at a train station. Years have passed and Do Young meets a joyful girl, Sa Wol, who becomes her personal shopper. What happens when Do Young's terrible misdeed is revealed and that Sa Wol is actually the sister she abandoned at the train station all those years ago?

If you would like to watch it too, and learn a lot about the way adoptees and orphans are seen and treated in Korean Society, check out this link:

http://www.mysoju.com/women-of-the-sun/

On the First Day of Chuseok, the Art Teacher Gave to Me

A trip to Suwon Palace and Hwaseong Fortress,
A dinner of Suwon Beef,
A trick to learn the days of the week in Hangul,
A Korean language workbook,
And a pair of purple crystal earings!

Not everyone exchanges gifts for Chuseok, but the Art teacher is SUPER nice and she took me out with her family to have a really nice day.

Suwon Palace and the Hwaseong Fortress were constructed in the 17th century by King Jeongjo, the 22nd King of the Joseon Dynasty (1392-1910).  The king was considering moving the capital from Seoul to Suwon and so he constructed this fortified city with a palace in the center.  The gates are not as big as the ones in Seoul, but the walls here are still fully intact.

Here are some pictures of the fortress.

On the left there is the main entrance to the fortress.

That is a guard tower on the right.  It's great to see how history meets the modern world with the bus traveling right underneath it.

I had to take a picture of this bell because, as historical as it is, it reminded me of home.  Check out my post about the pictures from Long Beach, CA to see an almost identical bell.

In front of the palace is a huge mural of what palace life could have been like, back in the days.  I don't know if it historical, but it is about 50 feet tall by 20 feet wide.  Here is a small part of it, with the layout of the whole fortress:

It's a little hard to see, but that brown part in the middle is supposed to have been rice fields.  When you walk along the walls of the fortress and look inside it is amazing how much modern city fits inside.  Once you realize the fortress is big enough to hold rice fields which prodcued enough rice for the whole city, then you can comprehend its size a little better.  (I think this picture is upside down.)

After walking around half of the fortress, which took about 2 hours, we went to the palace.

Here is the entrance:

There are many palaces in Korea, and I go to church next to one, so I see them all the time.  What made this one special for me was that they had a lot of scene mock-ups:

They recently filmed a Korean drama, called Dae Jang Geum, about life here at this palace, so many costumes might have been left over from that.  In this picture, a soldier and his wife are presenting gifts to the king, who is seated on the left side, out of the picture. Those tall things near the front, left hand corner of the picture are fruit and rice cracker things.  The women is bowing and she is wearing those long sleeves and big hair (not like the '90's big hair, but you know what I mean).  The soldier has layed his sword on the floor on some kind of animal skin.  Anyway, I took SO many pictures of these "scenes;" I just loved them.

As you know, I am still in the very beginning stages of learning Korean.  I have finally just memorized how to say, "Where is the bathroom" in Korean.  The Korean word for bathroom is "Hwa Jang Shil."  So you can imagine my excitement when I saw this:

I thought: I'm really going to impress the art teacher by saying, "Hwa Jang Shil?" and then pointing to that. 
However, those are rice pots. 
They are EVERYWHERE in the palace, like bathrooms... but not.

Everywhere you go, there are signs stating that the King constructed this Palace out of filial loyalty.  So the story goes that the King's Grandfather, who was also a King, didn't want the King's father to become a King (I think because he had some kind of mental defect).  So the Grandfather, made the father stay in a Rice Storage Box like the one on the left.  Eventually the father starved to death and died at the age of 14.  I guess they had kids REALLY young then, because the son, the Great King Jeongjo made this palace and fortress in his honor, after he grew up, of course and then later moved his body to be buried in that area.

Further, it is said that whenever King Jeongjo saw a rice storage box, he felt pained.  So this picture is one of the 5 rice storage boxes in the same area.   There are signs that encourage you to climb into the rice box to "feel King Jeongjo's sorrow."

I did NOT feel his sorrow (because I wouldn' crawl in the box).

I did however have a wonderful trip.  And we finished our tour of Suwon with a Suwon beef dinner at this fancy restaurant which IMPORTS its beef ...from ... Los Angeles.  So I went all the way to Suwon to have LA beef. 

After dinner we went back to the art teacher's house and had the gift I gave them for Chuseok: a blueberry yogurt cake from Paris Baguette.

Then the Art teacher gave me my other gifts: the book to learn Korean and the earrings her sister designed.

Chuseok sure feels a lot like Chirstmas to me!

Seoul Street Food -- So Satisfying!

One thing I can't resist is street food.

Normally I am a neat freak and uber concerned about sanitation and cleanliness, but none of my compulsions can overcome the odors that waft toward my nose and the feast of deliciousness that is spread before me in the streets of Seoul.

For my main dish, I prefer Ddok Kalbi next to Exit #1 at Ewha Women's University (which is the exit for InKAS, in case you are also an adoptee).  Basically Ddok Kalbi is delicious hamburger wrapped around a chewy ricecake (ddok).  The lady prepares a few ahead of time (stacked on the
right hand side, toward the front).  When you order one, she regrills it so it is nice and hot.  Then she spears it with a skewer and asks you if you want spicy or regular sauce (I like spicy).   Then she dips it in the sauce and gives the whole thing to you in a dixie cup for a less than a dollar!

I think this lady may have won an award in 2007 & 2008 from KBS (Korean Broadcasting System) for the most delicious street food, becuase she has big banners saying somthing to that effect on the side of her stand.

I'm not sure if she did or not, but she won my award for some serious deliciousness in 2009.

For dessert, I have to recommend Yong Su Yeom, which means Dragon's Beard.  You can find this in Myeong Dong.  There was a man right by one of the subway exits, but I found this guy in the middle of one of the streets.

Basically, he starts with a regular prism (like a 3x3x1 "cube") of hardened honey (it might be almost frozen).  Then he makes a hole in the middle and dips it into that white powder, which is cornstarch.  Then he stretches the hole with his fingers to the length of his armspan.  Then he folds them together (like two people would if they were folding a blanket).  After he dips and stretches them again, he has 4 strands.  He does this enough times, with each fold exponentially increasing the number and delicacy of the strings, until he has about 2000 strings.

It may be a little difficult to see, but basically he is holding the entire "beard" in one hand and seperating the strands with his other one.

After he does that, he lays down all the strands and cuts them into about 2-inch sections of thousands of "beard".  After that he takes each section and rolls them arounds a nut mixture, making a bite-sized, delicious candy, which I think, tastes like divinity candy. 

He fills up a box of ten and sells them for a little less than $5.

So, this is my box of Dragon's Beard, down there. 

I have this policy that I won't bring home street food as a means of trying to limit my consumption.  If I can't eat it right there, on the spot, or while walking to my next destination, then I just shouldn't be eating it.  Therefore, I tried to buy 2 pieces of Dragon's Beard, but the guy told me I had to buy a box.  I bought it because I had already bugged him to make some fresh for me (so I could see the process and share it with you).   He also told me that it is good for months in the freezer.

What a mistake!

That piece, right there was my very last piece.  I did give one to my friend, but that left nine for me to eat by myself.  It has only been 1 day, and they are already all gone.  The box is in the recycling and the plastic tray for ten is in the white, city approved, garbage bag.

There are so many more things to eat here is Seoul, but these rank as my favorite dinner and dessert for the time being. 

Seoul Street Food -- So Satisfying!